I have a new blog! It is calles “myname”likes.wordpress.com! There I talk about the lovely things I like and enjoy and maybe hope other people will check out!
Writing blogs when I’m frustrated feels easy, but I’d like to branch out into blogs about…everything else for all the people I know to read. As a step towards that I started this little blog about things I enjoy, which seemed easy and controlled for a topic. I don’t write well with too much freedom yet, I like little containers for my creativity.
Sometimes frustration pain is the only sensation I know that doesn’t feel like it fits in a neat container, when it’s on your mind it’s on your mind and can flow into anything you put under it. It doesn’t mind wallowing around a computer. Fair-flitting happiness has no time for keyboards!
I had one last little boy hope for the time being. I met a very gorgeous boy a couple weeks ago, and we were supposed to get together…but it hasn’t happened just yet, only texts, and I think from some facebook phone pics he posted he may have been on a wine dinner date with another lady newly added to his friend cache. Oh ouch. I think I’m out of the running. I have to face this world now, where I am completely single with no immediate prospects for …not being single. I would just like a little string of hope to hold onto. Which is what the last fellow, friend of mine, that I dated was. The last in my arsenal of things that could resemble a quasi relationship. Unfortunatly due to the unstable nature of grey-ly defined quasi-relationships, they tend to dismantle spontaneously.
So after almost THREE years of continual relationship-ing. I am, most unsettlingly single.
I want a relationship like I want a television. Because everyone else has one and they keep you company some evenings. This is like having no television, and I can’t borrow anyone else’s television and I can’t just buy a television. I just have no television.